A Thousand Years
by Violet Hyena
Summary: Castiel has watched Dean's soul since Lucifer's fall. He just didn't know it.


Inspired by the Christina Perri song. I took the song literally for Destiel and this is what popped up.

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Ever since Castiel entered existence, he'd always watched humanity from afar. It was a strange bunch of creatures who strapped the first rock to the branch as a tool, and then a weapon. Fire was also a grand achievement, bringing light to a world of darkness. They wandered aimlessly, and honestly, they weren't much different than any other animal. They survived.

The first thousands of years weren't that interesting. They were as Uriel groused, mud-monkeys, and that was all they'd ever be. Lucifer disliked them with a smoldering resentment, but only voiced it occasionally. Anna watched with Castiel occasionally, observing with a more intense fascination. Gabriel dropped down the ranks to watch as well, pointing out observations to both Anna and Castiel. The archangel pondered over and wove theories of what bigger animal they would become. Maybe they'd be like a crocodile, or a shark, with very little change and an effective killing machine. Gabriel also mused that they could be like the birds, who evolved with the times. Time would tell, Gabriel said cheerfully.

Then, humanity came to a point of no going back. Civilization. Heaven lost two archangels. Gabriel fled and was never found. Lucifer was thrown in a cage after turning a human into a demon and the angels waited. And no one heard from God after he told them to watch over humanity.

Castiel and Anna had much more time to watch the progression of humans, but there was always a sense of loss without Gabriel pointing out those odd human things that they did. Castiel found himself watching humans. They were very greedy and destructive. They were flawed and weak. Castiel was not sure of why God loved them so much.

Castiel didn't understand, until he saw a human save another. It was quite breath taking. One man saving his kin from an organized group of bandits. The tragic part was that the man died, very bloodily, but his kin survived and got away. Castiel was confused for years about this spark. It was very selfless in its own right, but very stupid. That was no way for humans to survive. What was that man thinking? Castiel observed the reaper that took the soul and the soul went to Heaven. Castiel went to the man's heaven, which was warn and a hoof beaten road. The man and his kin were traveling and speaking in their native tongue, making lewd jokes and enjoying each others' company. Castiel watched from a distance. It was comfortable and completely new to Castiel. He'd never found someone's heaven so nice. There were things there that humans did not yet have words for, and neither did angels.

Heaven was not permanent for some souls, who wanted to go back to earth for various reasons. Castiel had spent most of his time in that heaven with that soul, watching that man travel the endless road, but one day, it was not in existence anymore. Perhaps a generation or two had passed before the soul was reborn and Castiel searched it out in secret. It was odd for most angels to actually take an interest in humanity, but Castiel wanted to see if the soul would repeat its mistakes.

The soul was again in a male's body. He was born poor and in a family of farmers with many siblings. The soul was the second oldest and had several younger siblings. They grew quickly in what would eventually be Europe. The boy was boisterous and headstrong. He was impulsive and broke things; both on purpose and by accident. He was an instigator and a trouble maker. He was always pulling his sister's pig tails and teasing her and she'd cry and he'd get beaten by his father. Castiel was sure that this soul would become more selfish in this life.

The boy became a man. He drank, danced, sang and procreated with more than one woman and got into twice as much trouble. Castiel was baffled, wondering if he'd ended up tracking the wrong soul. Then the fun eased when he had to take over the farm. He was told to settle down, and he did, with a woman he didn't love. But they survived and worked the farm, as he always had. They had children and he loved them more than his wife. He no longer sought other women, he drank, yes, but unlike the other men, he did not hit his children or his wife. When he was angry, he worked. When he was sad, he worked. When he was happy, he worked.

The one thing he did love about his wife was that she could cook. He gave his daughters piggyback rides. He was often dirty, but content. But he was still headstrong and impulsive as he was as a boy. During the time, and that particular culture, women served men, and that was all there was to it. So, the man's sisters were no longer his responsibility, no longer his. The husbands were the ones that had control. And they fell to men of the age. Apparently the man Castiel was watching did not understand this because when he went to go see his sister, he broke her husbands nose for treating her like a mule and there was a bloody fight. The man didn't die from it, in fact, the husband of his sister came off worse. The man was self-destructively protective of his family. Castiel was again drawn to the man, seeing the same spark as before. Righteousness, Anna had told Castiel. Righteousness was the quality of that soul. Castiel wasn't sure if it was the only quality, but it was a name for what Castiel had been wondering about.

The man died around 40, which was fairly old for the time and his soul was taken again by a reaper. It again went to Heaven. The soul's fondest memories were actually with the sister that he'd pulled pigtails with. They were often walking up and down the farm and the town. They were both smiling, both speaking of the good times. Another happy time was the man with his children, and sometimes with his wife's good food. It was pleasant and felt just as good as the soul had had in his past life. And when the man's wife on earth died, she went to her own Heaven. They were not soul mates, and Castiel did not really expect them to be.

The cycle of happy memories in that soul's heaven again only lasted for a generation or so. Then he was reborn again, this time as a woman. A headstrong, temperamental woman. This happened for several more generations. That particular soul just could not be satisfied with death. The soul was many things, a man, a woman, usually with large families, but when there was no blood kin, he or she would adopt or be adopted into another, and was Hell bent on protecting them and others in general. The personality very rarely changed and it was in several countries, but always drifted back to the one faith; if you could really call it faith. Castiel described it as disregarding most religions and deities, but keeping the values alive in life. The righteous soul was a natural hedonist, but when it came down to choice, it chose others over itself. Castiel enjoyed watching that soul prevail through the years. It warmed his being.

At one time, Castiel thought the soul had finally found its soul mate. It was in the young North American colonies at the time, and a man this time around. A soldier, and a good man. He was passionately in love with a woman and stole away from his ranks to visit her. He of course, stayed a trouble maker. The were married, had children, lived a life of great happiness. Died again around 40 from an old battle wound, after his wife had passed. But when Castiel visited the Heaven, the soul was living his fondest memories in the barracks with his men and in younger years, his brother; who often shared sibling life times with the righteous soul, Castiel noticed after many times. There was no wife.

Castiel was growing concerned for this soul. There had been so many lifetimes this soul had been through and yet had not found its mate. And it kept going back for more life; kept repeating the patterns of happiness, but never to an extent where the soul would stay in Heaven. Castiel sought out Joshua, who would not speak about God too much or he'd be preaching sermons; and Joshua was not the type of angel who liked sermons. Castiel inquired about souls that constantly returned to earth and Joshua smiled that mysterious smile, saying that souls did what they pleased. Heaven was not a prison. And yes of course souls usually returned to find their mate, but not always. Some souls were just waiting. Castiel asked what ever could a soul be waiting for and Joshua only answered him with a smile.

The soul left Heaven twice more but then the soul went to Hell. And Castiel was in the party to retrieve it. The soul had a name this time. Its name was Dean Winchester and Castiel felt more urgent than any other angel that they had to retrieve the soul. Not just to stop the Apocalypse, but because that soul had not yet found its mate; had not it stayed in Heaven, where it belonged. Where Castiel could properly watch over it.

Castiel gripped the soul tight and raised it from perdition and mended the body which that soul currently called home. And because of his success, Castiel was granted the duty of Dean's guardian.

The soul, Dean, was still very much hard headed and a trouble maker. Also very concerned with family to a self destructive degree. Castiel did not like Dean up close at first. He was rude, unruly, and unpredictable. Even after watching his soul for so long, there was no telling the moves that Dean would make. The only thing Castiel could be sure of was that Dean did it for the same reasons every time. His family and his freedom. But Castiel saw the spark in Dean from the first time he'd witnessed the soul, and it was ever radiant. It was no longer an occasional speck of light, it was a fuel for the fire. Righteousness, yes. But also determination, anger, sympathy for others and love that was shown in odd ways.

Castiel felt as though he was in the soul's, Dean's, Heaven when it was quiet and Dean smiled. Castiel was comfortable next to Dean and wanted to stay at his side. He wanted to keep Dean safe until he found his happiness. He wanted Dean to find his soul's counterpart. And after so much time, Castiel was becoming aware of something. His vessel would have reactions to Dean that portrayed his own emotions. Castiel feared his own love for the soul would just made everything problematic. And it did. Their love made everything problematic.

Loving Dean Winchester was like trying to hold a flame in ones hands. Their love was consuming, passionate, angry and everything in between. Castiel was often overwhelmed with all the emotions that came with Dean Winchester. They were the best and worst that he'd ever felt. Living in a human body felt longer than it did up in Heaven. Being there was more than observing, and Castiel enjoyed living life with Dean, as much pain as there was, there was lots of good. But as happy as Castiel found himself, he was certain that this time again, Dean would leave Heaven and repeat the cycle. Because Dean still didn't have a reason to stay in Heaven. He still had no soul mate. this was just another lifetime of family and freedom for the soul.

This time, Castiel was there to help Dean live long and healthy, despite Dean's work and unhealthy eating habits. And Dean, when he was finally getting gray hair and his joints were aching, finally stopped fighting Death. Of course it wasn't Death himself who took Dean, it was the reaper Tessa, who always took Dean to Heaven.

Heaven was fractured, but stable then and Castiel drifted back to Heaven to reclaim his spot in Dean's Heaven. Dean's Heaven was simply enough, on another road, this time with the Impala, and the occasional memory with Sam, Bobby, and everyone else. And then Dean looked around, when he was in the Impala alone and he got out of the car.

"Cas!" Dean called into the night, looking around the empty field next to the road, "Cas, get your feathery ass down here." Castiel looked around. He could not remember this. He could remember ever time that Dean had called him, and this wasn't one of them. Dean sighed, leaning his back against the hood of the car, "I know I'm in Heaven, Cas. Get down here." Cas blinked slowly and eased himself to the road, appearing before Dean. Dean eased, looking younger than when he'd died. Castiel mused softly that Dean looked happy, and he liked that. And then Dean smiled at him, the smile where his eyes crinkled and his mouth was wry, "Finally here again, aren't we?"

"You're here again, yes." Castiel walked over to Dean and eased his hip against the side of the trusty car.

"Shut up, I'm actually dead-dead now, I know I've been here lots." Dean gestured around the quiet, star filled night, "What took you so friggen long to come see me?" Castiel blinked at Dean, confused.

"I... had no clue you could sense me." Castiel admitted, "and it was not my place. Still not my place."

"Cas, this IS your place." Dean scoffed and his arm wrapped around Castiel's shoulders, drawing him in, which Dean had started to do when they became intimate. Castiel frowned, eyes lowering to the black asphalt.

"It is not my place, Dean." Castiel murmured, "Heavens are only shared with soul mates. And you have not found yours." Dean pulled Castiel so the angel stood before him, so he could look him in the eye.

"Cas, I went through like 3 Armageddons to find out that you're it. Don't bale on me now." Dean had his serious face on and Castiel stared with disbelief.

"But, I'm an angel. I have no soul." Castiel placed a hand over Dean's chest, "I want you to be happy..."

"I am happy. I'm happy with you." Dean leaned forward, kissing Castiel's lips briefly, "You're my angel, and I want you to stay. I meant what I said about needing you." Castiel's heart fluttered and his arms gripped Dean tight, holding him warmly. Dean chuckled and his thumb ran over Castiel's jaw, tilting Castiel's head up into another, but longer, kiss. They both melted into each other, and like so many times before, they wound up in the back seat of the Impala, bare and tired, looking at the roof top, as though it held the secrets of God.

"I fear, that your real soul mate will come one day." Castiel murmured, lying on Dean's chest and his fingers drew ancient patterns into Dean's collarbone. Dean scoffed.

"As far as I'm concerned, you are my soul mate." Dean told him and Castiel smiled warmly. "Hey," Dean sat up, as did Castiel when prompted, "How about we stick around for, oh, 20 years, and then go get born again." Castiel stared up at Dean, confused and somewhat hurt.

"You don't want to stay here with me?" Castiel murmured and Dean cupped his jaw, giving him a grin.

"I love ya, but Heaven is fucking boring." Dean pulled Castiel close, leaning back against the seat, "I still don't like the thought of dicks with wings organizing my paradise." He raised his brows at Castiel, looking sincere, "I want to go live a life with you, not in a dream world of this one life." Castiel stared at Dean and leaned into him.

"And if we end up separated? One of us in Hell?" Castiel worried slightly and Dean pressed his forehead against Castiel's.

"Then we'll have to pull each other out." Dean scoffed, "As if Crowley is gonna keep me from you." Castiel smiled, because this was what made him fall in the first place, Dean's spark; his burning fire.

"30 years." Castiel asked, wanting to enjoy his time there with Dean.

"22."

"32"

"You're suppose to go down, that's how bartering works."

"35."

"Cas..."

They ended up staying 50 short years. And they were well worth an Armageddon or two.


End file.
